This month, Sarah Cook from WeDo HR shares her personal fertility journey – one that remained private for many years. Now, Sarah is using her experience to shine a light on why fertility policies in the workplace matter – and how employers can better support those going through similar journeys.
I posted a pic of my twins when neo-natal leave was announced. What I didn’t mention was they were IVF babies.
At the time I didn’t want to talk about it, and I definitely didn’t want to ask for time off to attend appointments. It was very private.
For me finding out in my 30s that I couldn’t conceive without medical intervention was hard. But I was grateful that at least my infertility could be pinned on something – blocked tubes – for many, unexplained infertility adds another layer of emotion and means that you have to go through the whole gamut of treatment before IVF.
The process itself is pretty brutal, I felt like each step was a pass/fail test…..
- Is my cycle regular enough for the hospital to be able to interject and take over.
- Nasal spray to flatline my hormones – side effects similar to menopause, truly debilitating headaches.
- Injecting myself to stimulate egg production.
- Scans and blood tests – the worry of scary side effects with ovarian stimulation.
- Egg retrieval under sedation – the registrar who stuck a needle into my ovary instead of the follicle and said I had a low pain threshold.
- We were lucky with 20+ eggs collected every time Time for.
- Mr. F to do his bit.
- Then wait – will they fertilise, again we were lucky 10+ embryos every time.
- Then embryo transfer.
- And more waiting….will I bleed or will I be pregnant
Our final attempt (the successful one) was a new approach at the time, commonplace now. A blastocyst transfer – meaning they keep the embryos in the lab until they develop the “grappling hook” that helps them embed into the lining of the uterus and become a viable pregnancy.
So we were in the waiting stage…When 8am on a Saturday morning we get a phone call….
“can you come now for embryo transfer?”
“Umm yes how soon do we need to be there?”
“As soon as possible – they are ready to go, if it’s more than 90 mins we may miss our window”
We lived an hour away ….the next hour was our own version of the first 5 mins of Four Weddings and a Funeral.
The whole process is physically, emotionally, financially, and logistically demanding and that’s just to get to the point of giving yourself the best chance to be pregnant. So what can employers do?
- have a clear fertility policy;
- it gives your employees agency;
- it means they don’t have to awkwardly explain themselves;
- or feel like they’re asking for a favour;
- it gives them a written down right to request extra leave;
- make it paid leave if possible (maybe an alternative to compassionate leave).
It can link to family friendly and women’s health policies like neonatal leave, maternity leave, and menstrual policies creating a more inclusive workplace.
There are so many things to be worried about when you are going through fertility treatment – don’t let getting time off work be another one.
