The first time I saw British Sign Language, I was in secondary school. A close friend showed me a few signs between lessons, fingers moving with a rhythm and confidence that caught my attention. I thought it was beautiful, but I did not yet see where it belonged in my life.
I grew up speaking with my voice, lipreading, and guessing at words I could not hear. People told me I “spoke well” as if that meant I fitted in, but inside there was a quiet ache, a feeling of being almost understood but never completely.
Years later, everything changed when I met the woman who would become my wife. Through her, I stepped into my local deaf club for the first time. The room was alive with laughter, quick hands, expressive faces, and conversations flowing in a way I had never experienced. BSL was no longer just a set of signs. It was a living culture, a way to belong without explanation.
I did not learn in a classroom. I learnt in the heart of that community, over cups of tea, during card games, in the middle of storytelling and shared jokes. There was no textbook, just living, watching, copying, and growing in confidence. Week by week, my hands became more fluent, my expressions freer, my place in the room more certain.
One evening, I realised I was no longer standing on the edge of conversations. I was inside them. I was not just a deaf person who could sign. I was part of the Deaf community, proud of my language and my culture. That realisation brought freedom. Freedom from pretending I understood, from shrinking myself to fit in, from feeling like I had to apologise for who I was.
The beauty of identity is that once you find it, it changes everything. It deepens your connections, gives you pride in where you stand, and opens doors to possibilities you never imagined. For me, it also shaped the way I raise my children, ensuring they grow up confident in who they are and connected to the culture that belongs to them.
Identity is not something you wait to be given. It is something you claim. And when you find it, you grow into the person you were always meant to be.
At GDA, we work every day to help people discover that same sense of belonging. With the support of individuals and organisations who share our vision, we can make sure more people find their identity, and with it, the freedom to live fully as themselves.
If you’d like to come and celebrate British Sign Language week with us at GDA come and find out all about us at our Quiz night on Weds 18th March – More details here: Quiz Night at GDA – Give as you Live Donate
